Shantytowm

The US election has been my lowest point since I'm here. Not because of what is still just a "likely result" - Bush - but because I couldn't watch it. After following the democratic primaries and the campaign on a daily basis with obsession, I had to sleep the election night away. No television and no Internet access at home. I feel isolated and frustrated. I'm missing comfort I take for grated at home. Going home yesterday, around midnight, I swore about ten times thinking I was going to be for the 7 decisive hours to come. But how could I realistically stay up anyway? I won't be able to make it and I have to go to work on the following day. All my workarounds, my potential solutions to watch to election weren't passing the reality test. One more swear.

The potential result doesn't cheer me up anyway. I can hardly believe a single person would cast a vote for him, let alone a majority of Americans. Deficits, tax cuts for the wealthy, lack of medical coverage, Supreme Court... There's so much more in this election than Iraq.

Money is also an issue, here. I'm living on almost nothing in the worst conditions for the last, what, 9 years and still, I'm out of money. I knew it when I was coming here, but I wasn't living it. There isn't much you can do to cheer you up without money. You pass on invitations, you avoid restaurants and nights out - which include most social gatherings. You depend on the reliability of what you already own - if something breaks, you're screwed. First, you stop buying stuff, then you cut into the groceries. I think I haven't consciously cut into the groceries to save money since I was twenty. That's pretty sad.

It makes you think about what it is being poor. From the outside, we can consider restaurants, nights out, travels, and new clothes as luxuries. But they are what makes you part of society. Without the means to get involved in social interactions, how can you create and sustain a network? At least, I'm not there yet, but I'm having a sight of it. Not pretty.